A Lost Son Has Come Home
Henry Gan and wife, Joyce.
For forty long years, I was away from God. I was a teenager then and was easily tempted to the ways of the world. I had only myself to blame for not walking with God but living the ways of the world.
I know that my mother and siblings have been praying for me all this while, and I am truly thankful to be blessed by God with such a caring family for I can feel the presence of God. There have been numerous times that I felt God asking me to “come home” to Him and be prepared for the coming of Christ. And my answer was always “soon, soon, and soon.” It was a sad and pathetic answer. Praise the Lord that He has not forgotten me and has kept me safe all this long while.
Back in 1989, I started work in the oil and gas industry, in the contract department as an estimator tendering for offshore contracts. Preparing tender documents, incoming and outgoing, and the costing of the many projects was done on one computer. I was stressed for one computer was not sufficient for the workload. I had two computers for the many spreadsheets. Later, a third computer was added for scheduling and printing. I worked very late in the evening everyday. There were times my wife had to come to my office to drag me home. My boss also had to shoo me home almost every other day. I was enjoying my job too much, but I was under stress; and I fell into depression.
My depressive mood swung in and out every 10 or 15 minutes. The depression was very bad. I felt like my heart was going to collapse at any time and I was doomed to die. The urge was to just curl up and cry. But there were no tears to cry. Claustrophobia set in as well. Getting into a lift, taxi or train was scary. In my mind, my thought was that it just could not get any worse than this. Many times I had wanted to end it all by throwing myself out a window of my apartment which is on the 25th floor. But thanks to the Almighty God I did not. He loves me and He watches over me. His angels must have been guarding all the windows.
I took a months leave and went to Mallorca, Spain, and lived in an old farmhouse with a small swimming pool. Just lying on an air mattress in the pool every morning and on the sea every afternoon alone was an amazing experience. I was out of the depression. Thank God it was over. I never had another attack after that holiday. After that ordeal, I decided to work for myself, to be my own boss.
Eve of Christmas 2010; my father died and things felt different when all members of the Gan family were at the funeral. We felt a lot closer as a family like never before and in a very nice way. Deep in my heart I felt God was planning something.
Then Mum went to be with Jesus Christ on the 17th March 2011. About a couple of months before, she had asked me to go back to church and worship the Lord. Unlike the other times that she asked of me, this time I promised, “Mama, I will.”
The 3 months before mama left was when I felt the presence of God strongly. I found myself saying, “Yes, Lord Jesus, I want to come home,” but I asked Him to give me a sign that He is pleased with me to still be His. A small request but I kept asking for it, to which the Lord can easily grant.
I went to fellowship the following Sunday, a week after the funeral, with my whole family. We made it. Hallelujah! My wife, Joyce, and my sons, Darren and Kane and I were together in church to worship the Lord God. God does move in a mysterious way. My God is real. Praise the Lord.
A month later, 17th April, my family was to be baptized in the Name of Jesus Christ.
There were 8 believers participating in baptism. When it was my turn to be baptized, I went into the pool and took my place beside Bro. Richard. He asked me if I know that I have sinned against God and I said yes. The answer to his next question to repent came with a loud YES because the Holy Spirit had already came down on me and I could feel His mighty power surge into me. It had lifted my head and hands up into the heavens. It was indescribable. I could feel the peace and the joy. The next thing I knew, I was baptized in water. O how I wish my brother, Richard, had delayed it for a little longer for me to feel the wonderful feeling of God's Blessing.
The few seconds was enough for me to feel God's power, His Love, and all that comes with being with God. In short, I felt like I was in Heaven. If that’s what God's Heaven is like, I want to go there to be with Jesus Christ. And I am going there. Amen!
My knees were still shaking when it was over. Came out of the pool I went to a corner, knelt down and gave thanks and praises to the Lord for answering my prayers for a sign. He has answered my prayer in a special way. (Matthew 21:22: "And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.")
The days that followed were just wonderful and I pray that nothing will take me away from God again.
The following Thursday, eve of Good Friday, when I was at work, at my computer, I had the urge just to read the parable of the lost son (Luke 15:11-32). Then it dawned on me that my Father in Heaven has actually showered on me His Love and much more by his special gift to me. Though it is not easy for me to cry, I cried. I cried and I cried. It felt really wonderful to know that my Heavenly Father welcomes me home. It seems like a big Hug.
I would like to thank and bless each and every brother and sister in Christ who cared and prayed for me to get me to “come home”.
Praise The Lord.
[10 May, 2011]